This year I will..

I want to start this post by saying that 2018 is your year, 2018 is what you make it.

No one is going to make your year amazing or the way you want it to go because no one knows the personal goals you’ve set for yourself.

Let your “this year I will” turn into “this year I did” by focusing on you and you only. Being selfish with your time and your energy and actually taking steps to achieve what YOU have always wanted to achieve.

Buy a diary for yourself, record every goal you’ve ever wanted to achieve into that diary. No matter how big or how small.

Work towards your goal.

If you’re not a diary person, write your goals into your notes app on your phone.

Small things like that will make you feel good about yourself.

You’ll look back at the end of this year and say to yourself “I’ve actually achieved a lot, things I thought I’d never achieve”

The “goals” you set yourself shouldn’t only be based on important things but things that you’ve always wanted to do.

For example, if you’ve always wanted to go rock climbing, do it.

Jet skiing? Do it.

YouTube channel? Do it.

Writing a book? Do it.

Everything you want to achieve starts with you first.

And please please please, don’t stop yourself from starting or doing ANYTHING because of the fear of other people. You’ll only go 10 steps back.

Some of you may read this and think, we’re in February.. I should’ve started this in January but whether you start today, next week or next month at least you’ve started and at least you took that step.

So, make your 2018 turn into “this year I did..” instead of “this year I should have..” by starting now, keeping at it and remembering your years what you make it.

p.s I know this post sounds like some sort of ad but it’s not.. have a great year!!


Don’t feel disheartened

If you’re wondering this isn’t going to be one of those poetic posts again. I’ve kind of had enough of them myself but in this post, what I want to explain to those of you reading this is why you should never feel disheartened.

Here’s why..

Whether it’s education, your craft or just life in general, nobody understands why you do what you do.

There are a lot of critiques in this world and they’ll try to come and dishearten you and make you feel like shit.

They will try to come and de motivate you.. why? Because they can’t do what you’re doing, the way you do it.

Okay, that assignment you got a bad grade in, you’re disheartened. I understand. But try harder, keep pushing because it’s better to get something wrong the first couple of times and learn from it than continuously get it wrong.

That craft you’re working so hard on but nobody seems to be noticing, it’s fine. Keep shining. As long as YOU know you’re doing well, it shouldn’t matter what other people think.

The right time will come where the right people will notice.

The greatest things take time.

Easier said than done but trust me, don’t feel disheartened.

Nobody sees your vision the way you do. That’s what makes it YOUR vision.

Your parents aren’t happy with the path you’ve chosen for yourself. They might not want you to do that course at university or they may be unhappy that you’re not going to university as a whole.

This might be disheartening and this may put you down but I think that’s the worst thing you could do.

Yes you want to make your parents proud.

Yes you want to be successful.

But who said you need a uni degree to be successful?

Who said you need your parents to path your way for you?

Are you trying to make your parents happy or yourself?

At the end, you may realise that making your own decisions was worth it but you may also feel that you’ve wasted your time and that’s fine.

Look at the positives – you tried. See that as an achievement in itself.

This year if anything has showed me that there are plenty times that people or other things will make you feel disheartened but it’s what you do after feeling disheartened that matters.

Will I make this feeling make me? Or will I make it break me? That’s what you need to ask yourself.

I myself get disheartened quite a lot and my motivation tends to go but recently I’ve tried to remind myself that this is my journey. Everything can’t be perfect. It’s impossible and to just keep trying and pushing because the more obstacles that come my way.. the better my story will be to others out there feeling the same.

This post wasn’t the most amazing post but I really do hope it helps some of you who feel disheartened and whose motivation comes and goes like mine because of the comments of other people or just one low moment.

I promise you your hard work will pay off. If not today, sooner than you think.

Where have I been?

It’s been a long time since I’ve written or even written in this style but the question a lot of people have been asking me is “where have you been”, “what’s happened to your blog” “don’t you write anymore” but when it comes to actually answering those questions I don’t know how to..

It’s been quite a few bumpy months for me and I usually try to forget about what’s going on by writing whenever I feel like everything’s too much but it’s weird because recently that hasn’t worked as a coping mechanism. But what I’ve wondered is maybe that “coping mechanism” is no longer my way of coping anymore. 

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been asking myself whether I should continue with my blog and these posts and maybe some of you have noticed, whilst others haven’t but I’ve been a bit MIA with my blog. Me going MIA on here was partially on purpose but also because I’ve been having to sort out a lot of stuff. 

This was a quick post/update that I thought had to be written.

If you’re going through a lot right now, you’ll get through it! Just hang in there and just know that your current situation won’t be a permanent one. 

Oh and yes, I’m officially back x

Wounds heal

Wounds heal, 

It may not feel like it

It may not look like it

But they do. 

Just believe that things will get better

Day by day

Make the most out of life,

Make the most out of your experiences as they are the only character shaper in life. 

They’ll prepare you for better

And mould you to cope with the worst

Through all that keep faith 

Even if you don’t believe in God,

Just have that self belief that you’ll get through it

Don’t listen to what people say,

So what if it took you a bit longer to heal?

No one said it was going to be instant,

No one said it was going to be easy,

But it can be done

How many battles have you so effortlessly fought through already?

Plenty right?

Well keep on fighting,

I promise you you’ll make it

Cry if you need to,

Cry if you have to,

But don’t ever get to the point in which you depend on a cry
As that is when you learn that your wound never healed..

It’s just that it got deeper.

Black girl, black boy

Black girl, black boy..

We both have this struggle where society doesn’t really value us as much as the whites,

And people can come and say I’m targeting the white folks but I’m just saying the truth..

The truth that you may not want to hear but have to hear.

Black boy,

I know it’s hard,

I know life is hard,

But please understand that you don’t have to put down black girls.. we’re both equally as beautiful

We support you,

We root for you,

We appreciate you,

And we love you..

So when it comes to us black girls, why can’t some of you do the same?

Some on Twitter bash us and I don’t know whether it’s for retweets or whether they’re being serious but it’s not cool..

You can tweet whatever you want to tweet about other races but don’t drag down black girls when doing so,

We don’t like it,

It’s embarrassing 

It hurts us.. and I’ll tell you why

It hurts us because we as black women will always fight for and support our black men,

We’ve got your back,

We love you and appreciate you..

So for you to always be dragging us and putting us down.. it’s not a good look, 

On you or on our race. 

You don’t see other races dragging their own people or putting them down,

So why are we as a black race slacking?

That is a question that I’m yet to find the answer to.

Black girl,

You are beautiful,

You are loved,

You are appreciated,

It doesn’t matter what these boys say.

Keep shining and keep elevating,

Keep showing them why you are a beautiful black queen,

Continue supporting your black men and your fellow black queens,

Trust me you’re doing great,

Society may not value us the way we value ourselves or our fellow black people,

But I know as a race we’ll one day come together and become one.

We will make a change and will become that change.

Him & Her ft The Rose

His perspective 

I’m a young man in a relationship and I just don’t know how to function in it sometimes. 

They say that men are the go getters, the providers but I don’t feel like I’m providing enough both for myself and for my other half. 

I feel drained. 

I feel useless. 

And that’s only because of the stresses of society. 

I don’t think anyone understands me, I mean.. 

I don’t even think I understand myself. 

Society expects us men to be strong, they expect us to show no emotion because we’re meant to be externally and internally strong. 

They don’t understand that we like females have emotions too. 

We are not trash. 

Some of us have been through a lot and I’m not saying that’s an excuse but..

Some men aren’t trash yet the label still gets put on us. 

I give my all to my girlfriend. 

She’s my world. 

But sometimes I feel like she doesn’t know that. 

Because I shut off.. and I don’t know why. 

I just hope that one day, I finally get the chance to understand myself.

So that she can understand me too.

Her perspective

“This is a man’s world, but it would be nothing. nothing, without a woman or a girl.” 

James Brown’s voice rang through my ears and struck a nerve somewhere in my temporal lobe. 

I couldn’t help but wonder then, why does my own man not allow me into his world?

Young, wild and free. At our age we are two lovers fuelled by the blurred lines between lust and love, magnetised through mutual curiosity and burning with youthful passion. 

Recipe for disaster and a recipe for success.

It’s all about growth.

I don’t have it all figured out and neither does he. I don’t expect him to!

He says he feels drained.

He says he feels useless.

But that’s down to society’s pressures. Not me!

He says no one understands him. No one understands me either.

I barely understand myself at times. And that’s okay, you know?

No one will fully ever understand another human. 

No one will ever fully understand themselves. That’s my theory anyway. 

We are constantly evolving and growing. 

Constantly changing.

Society expects men to be strong, so much where we forget that they have emotions. 

They’re human, not robots. I must admit, that I too, sometimes forget that men feel. 

But how am I supposed to remember when they refuse to show it? 

Like, what have I got to do to get him to talk to me? 

To trust in me? 

Society continues to scream at him that emotions are feminine, they make you vulnerable. 

Well I think that’s a load of crap. 

Being in tune with your emotions exercises a form of control over them. 

Men are not vulnerable or weak or ‘gay’ for expressing their softer emotions; in fact, they’re STRONG, for going against the grain.

Men hide their pain. The only emotion society seems to accept from them is anger. 

I do chuckle to myself when I see, “men are trash” tweets sprawled across my timeline, it’s hilarious. 

Sometimes I think it’s deeper than just banter though.

The labelling theory is applicable and it’s dangerous to just lump and group all men into one category, stripping their individuality. 

Still, I find myself giggling as I retweet yet another anti-men tweet, thinking, “at least my man ain’t trash.”

I know I am loved by him. 

I feel it.

He shows it. 

Even when he ‘shuts down’ and shuts me out, even when his embrace goes cold and he retreats back into his shell of silence – I know he does care for me.

I still hope one day he will understand that I don’t seek perfection from him, despite my nagging and the petty arguments. 

I just want us to journey together. Face life together.

I just hope that one day, he understands himself better.

So I can understand him more too.

James Brown’s voice fades to silence and I continue to drown myself in my thoughts…

“Oh how, how a man needs a woman

I sympathise with the man that don’t have a woman

He’s lost in the wilderness

He’s lost in bitterness

He’s lost in loneliness”

Go & check out ‘The Rose’

Twitter – @_clvrarose

WordPress – 

We get tired, I get tired x De motivation 

We get tired sometimes. I get tired sometimes and things can only get better. 

I haven’t written a motivational post in a long time simply because how can I be a motivator if I can’t even motivate myself? How can I say I motivate others if I just lost all the motivation in me? Would be hypocritical right?

But anyway..

We all get tired sometimes. I get tired sometimes but it doesn’t mean we don’t keep going. 

How do you expect all your goals and everything you ever wanted to fall into place?

Ok, maybe everything you ever wanted will not fall into place and I mean that in the most nicest way possible but you’ve got to be realistic.. is it your timing that you’re after or Gods timing?

We say we’re tired. I say I’m tired but who said the journey was going to be easy? Who said our timing was going to be the best timing? Who said we’re even going to get half the things we pray or wish for?

The answer is no one. 

I want you all to know that Gods timing is the best timing. We might think yes I want this now and I’m ready but if God thinks we’re not ready then who can really fight that?

I want you all to know that we may get tired sometimes but without that little bit of tiredness.. 

We wouldn’t keep going. 

We wouldn’t keep fighting. 

We wouldn’t keep pushing. 

To achieve our dreams and goals. 

So to everyone reading this, yes you’re going to get tired and sometimes it may seem impossible to even continue standing or pushing through but trust me, you’ve got this. I’ve got this. We’ve all got this. 

Don’t get tired to the point where you’re enjoying that tiredness, instead of enjoying life. 

De motivation, something that exhausts me. 

I just can’t help it. 

It starts off at a point where I’m doing really well,

Motivating others,

Keeping on top of things,

Just happy with how things are going,

Then it gets to a point where I start slacking..

I suddenly forget how to motivate others because I can’t even motivate myself,

I stop keeping on top of things,

I become unhappy and I feel like everyone’s against me

And that’s the sad reality, that’s what de motivation does to you 

To everyone who reads this, I want each and everyone of you to know that de motivation will come, it will come around,

But don’t let it get to you,

Don’t let it defeat you or make you feel comfortable with feeling de motivated

You’ll feel tired and exhausted.. 

But it’ll be worth it,

You’ll get back up and perform 10x harder,

10x better,

So keep working hard, keep trying.. 

Because de motivation will come around once in a while but will it make you or break you is the real question..